It’s me, the intern, again. Chris is still super busy, and you know what, I think he’s overly stressed. I have a bunch of great ideas for his office that I think he needs to keep him calm and focused.
Paint the walls green.
I don’t mean bright green, but a nice light green. Green is a relaxing color, because it symbolizes the calm and peace of nature. His walls should be green so that it psychologically calms him all the time. Might as well paint the whole building green so the other people in the building can benefit too. On top of that, I think he should even add some live foliage to the office: a small tree in one corner, a bamboo on his desk, a flower box by the window, some vines hanging from the ceiling. I volunteer to take care of it all.
Buy a head massager.
You know the ones that look like metal spiders? He could leave it on his desk and use it whenever he needs to relieve stress and focus his brain on the task at hand.
Have lunch delivered every day.
Not just for him, but his assistant and intern too. I mean, how much less stressful would it be to not worry about what he’s going to eat for lunch? And how selfish would it be if he indulged himself in no-stress lunch without including his employees? Maybe just getting delivery from somewhere isn’t enough though; I think having a personal chef would be the better idea.
Stretch every two or three hours.
Doing stretching exercises has been shown to relieve stress. Stress restricts blood flow, but stretching increases blood flow to muscles and to your brain. This would make Chris’ brain work better too, and make his mood better (*cough* he could use it *cough*).
Have a full espresso bar.
Well, this one isn’t so stress relieving as just plain helpful. He could have café quality drinks readily available. I think not having to drink that ghastly “coffee” that who-knows-who made in the dingy office kitchenette would really improve his mood.
Buy comfy chairs.
Seriously, have you seen of those modern chairs out there? They’re spectacular. They look amazing and they’re designed to be perfect for the human body to sit in with ease and comfort.
Manicures, pedicures, and massages for all!
A manicure or pedicure is not just for ladies, I mean, they aren’t just about the nail polish. Getting a mani-pedi is a great way to get rid of stress, and end up with nice, clean nails too. And then a massage on top of that? Stress, goodbye, you’ve been eternally banished from this office.
That should really do it. So, I need your help. Chris needs to be told about all these wonderful ideas from all of you when you come to see him about your taxes. Don’t forget to slip in the “they’re tax deductible” argument to seal the deal when you do mention it.
Disclaimer: This is so very not serious. But you probably got that already. I’m a bit of a sarcastic human, and I take it upon myself to make you laugh. Laughing is a stress-reliever after all. Also, if you don’t want to suggest my ideas for stress-relief to Chris, make sure you let him know how much you enjoy hearing from his intern instead!